Retirement Humor


Life needs retirement humor!  We need to learn how to lighten up and enjoy this incredible time in our lives.  We need to let all the retirement wishes soak in and live each day to the fullest.  Below you will find some wonderful funny quotes about retirement and all the comes along with it.  We hope it brings a bit of humour to your day.



Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

Gene Perret


When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

Chi Chi Rodriguez


The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.

Author Unknown


He who laughs, lasts.
Mary Pettibone Poole


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Billy Crystal


When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

Gene Perret


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.....But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Phyllis Diller


Retirement: No clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money!
Author Unknown


Don't worry about avoiding temptation ...As you grow older, it will avoid you.

Winston Churchill


A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

Ella Harris


Retirement: World's longest coffee break.

Author Unknown



A little daily humor can go a long way.  And in the retirement years laughter should be a big part of your life!  So remember to keep smiling and looking for the lighter part of your days!



Retirement Wishes.....Quotes.....Poems.....Funny Poems.....Congratulations Words

Our Friends.....Phrases.....Toasts.....Songs.....Greetings.....Sentiments.....Advice

Simple Retirement Calculator.....How To Retire Early.....How Much Do I Need To Retire

Happy Retirement.....Retirement Humor.....Aging Quotes.....What To Do When You Retire.....Books

Sayings.....Jokes.....Gifts.....How To Plan A Retirement Dinner.....Cards.....Sayings Of Congratulations

Quotes On Starting Over.....Quotes On Achieving Goals.....Quotes On Getting Older.....Sayings On Change


Additional Retirement Humour:

Up, sluggard, and waste not life; in the grave will be sleeping enough.
Ben Franklin


The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Abe Lemons


When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

R.C. Sherriff


I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!

Author Unknown


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